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Resources to Support Your Journey
Welcome to our curated collection of books, tools, and insights designed to support your growth—whether you're navigating dating, strengthening your relationship, deepening intimacy, or prioritizing self-care.
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These resources reflect the evidence-based approaches I use in my coaching practice, including the Gottman Method, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Attachment Theory, and holistic wellness principles. Each book has been carefully selected because it offers practical wisdom, compassionate guidance, and proven strategies that can transform how you relate to yourself and others.
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Explore the recommendations below based on where you are in your journey. And if you have questions or want to discuss how coaching can support you, I'm here—reach out anytime at dante@hvltcc.com or 832-800-0417.
HVL Connect Client
Resource Library
Getting Started Section
​✓ 5 Steps to Deeper Connection In Your Relationship" Guide
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Action steps for immediate implementation
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Real-world examples from your coaching experience
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✓ Attachment Style Quiz & Results
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Simple 15-question assessment
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Detailed results for each style (Secure, Anxious, Avoidant, Disorganized)
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How your attachment style affects relationships
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Growth strategies for each type
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✓ Values Clarification Worksheet
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Identify your top 10 relationship values
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Partner compatibility assessment
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Values-based decision making guide
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✓ Goal-Setting Template: "Your Relationship Vision"
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6-month and 1-year relationship goals
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SMART goal framework adapted for relationships
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Monthly check-in template
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Building Skills Section
​✓ Communication Scripts Collection
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"How to Express Needs Without Blame"
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"Asking for What You Want"
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"Setting Healthy Boundaries"
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"Apologizing Effectively"
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"Having Difficult Conversations"
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✓ "The Gottman-Inspired Conflict Resolution Framework"
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5-step process for working through disagreements
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De-escalation techniques
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Finding compromise and win-win solutions
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✓ "Emotional Temperature Check" Daily Practice
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Morning intention setting
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Evening reflection questions
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Weekly relationship review template
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✓ Mindfulness for Relationships Audio Series
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5-Minute Morning Intention (Meditation 1)
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​Duration: 5 minutes

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Best for: Starting the day with clarity and relational purpose

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When to use: First thing in the morning, before checking phone or starting daily tasks
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Preparing Your Heart for Change (Meditation 2)
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Duration: 8 minutes

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Best for: Beginning of coaching journey, before difficult conversations, or when facing relationship transitions

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When to use: At the start of a coaching program, before a challenging discussion, or during times of change
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Releasing Relationship Stress evening practice (Meditation 3)
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Duration: 10 minutes
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Best for: After conflict, during high-stress periods, or when feeling overwhelmed
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When to use: Evening wind-down, after a difficult day, or when emotions are running high
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Loving-Kindness for Your Partner (Meditation 4)
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​Duration: 12 minutes
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Best for: Rebuilding connection, softening resentment, cultivating compassion
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When to use: When feeling disconnected, after conflict resolution, or as a regular practice to maintain warmth
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✓ Trust-Building Activities Collection
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Daily appreciation practices
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Vulnerability exercises (graduated levels)
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Rebuilding after betrayal or hurt
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Trust maintenance strategies​​
CRISIS SUPPORT RESOURCES
(3 Resources): Click on links
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✓ Resource 1.1: "When Things Get Hard" Emergency Toolkit
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Immediate de-escalation techniques
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Self-soothing practices
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When to take a break vs. push through
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Emergency contact information
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✓ Resource 1.2: Self-Care for Relationship Stress
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Individual practices to maintain your well-being
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Boundary setting with family/friends during relationship work
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Managing anxiety about change
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✓ Resource 1.3: Professional Support Resources​
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When to consider therapy vs. coaching
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Houston-area therapist referrals
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Crisis hotlines and support services
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Medical professionals (if needed)
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NATIONAL HOTLINES:
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National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988
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National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
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SAMHSA National Helpline: 1-800-662-4357
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National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673
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Trevor Project (LGBTQ+ youth): 1-866-488-7386
HOUSTON-AREA RESOURCES:
(Included in Resource 1.3: Professional Support Resources)
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Content Breakdown:
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~80 pages
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8 assessments
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25 worksheets
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12 scripts
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10 exercises
DATING RESOURCES
(3 Resources): Click on links​
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✓ Resource 2.1: Dating Patterns Discovery Worksheet​
✓ Resource 2.2: Red Flags vs. Growth Opportunities
✓ Resource 2.3: Preparing for Healthy Partnership
✓ Resource 2.4: Creating Your Dating Action Plan
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RECOMMENDED RESOURCE SEQUENCES
For DATING Coaching Clients:
Weeks 1-2:
Weeks 3-4:
Weeks 5-6:
Weeks 7-8:
Ongoing:
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Maintain self-care practices
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Track dating progress
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Adjust strategy as needed
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Content Breakdown:
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~120 pages
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15 assessments
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35 worksheets
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10 scripts
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8 exercises
Dating Books.
Why We Recommend These Books
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When you're navigating the dating world, understanding yourself is just as important as finding the right person. That's why I recommend starting with Attached by Levine and Heller—it's the foundation for recognizing your attachment patterns and understanding what you truly need in a relationship. Once you understand your "love wiring," How to Not Die Alone by Logan Ury offers practical, science-backed strategies to break unhelpful dating patterns and make better choices about who you date and when to commit. And for those of you approaching or navigating engagement, The Conscious Bride by Sheryl Paul addresses the complex emotions that arise during this transition—feelings that are completely normal but rarely discussed. Together, these books provide the self-awareness, practical tools, and emotional support you need to build the lasting love you deserve.
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Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love
by Amir Levine, MD & Rachel Heller, MA
Ever wonder why some people navigate relationships effortlessly while you keep repeating the same painful patterns? Attached reveals the answer lies in your attachment style—the unconscious blueprint shaping how you connect in intimate relationships.
This groundbreaking book identifies three primary attachment styles:
Anxious: You crave closeness but worry whether your partner truly loves you. You may overthink texts, seek reassurance, or feel anxious when your partner needs space.
Avoidant: You value independence and feel uncomfortable with too much closeness. You might pull away when relationships become "too serious" or find yourself attracted to unavailable partners.
Secure: You're comfortable with both intimacy and independence. You communicate openly, trust easily, and navigate conflict without losing yourself or pushing your partner away.
Attached doesn't just help you identify your style—it shows you how to recognize red flags early, understand why you're attracted to certain people, and move toward more secure, fulfilling relationships. Whether you're single or partnered, understanding attachment theory will transform how you approach love.
"Over a decade after its publication, one book on dating has people firmly in its grip." —The New York Times
COUPLES RESOURCES
(4 resources) Click on link
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✓ Resource 3.1: Weekly Relationship Check-In Template
✓ Resource 3.2: Intimacy Building Exercises
✓ Resource 3.3: Creating Shared Rituals and Traditions
✓ Resource 3.4: Managing Extended Family and Friend Dynamics
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RECOMMENDED RESOURCE SEQUENCES
For COUPLES Coaching Clients:
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Weeks 1-2:
Weeks 3-4:
Weeks 5-6:
Weeks 7-8:
Ongoing:
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Maintain weekly check-ins
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Continue intimacy practices
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Honor rituals
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Enforce boundaries
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Content Breakdown:
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~110 pages
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12 assessments
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30 worksheets
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15 scripts
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17 exercises
Couples Books.
Why We Recommend These Books
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After two decades of working with couples, I've seen firsthand how transformative the right knowledge can be. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman is the cornerstone—it's based on the most extensive research on what actually makes relationships succeed, and it provides practical tools you can use immediately. Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson takes you deeper into the emotional connection that sustains love, helping you understand the attachment needs that drive your interactions and conflicts. And Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel addresses one of the most common challenges I see in my practice: maintaining desire and passion in long-term commitment. These three books work together to strengthen your friendship, deepen your emotional bond, and keep the spark alive—the complete foundation for a thriving partnership.
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The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert
BY: JOHN GOTTMAN PhD , NAN SILVER
What actually makes marriages succeed or fail? Dr. John Gottman spent decades studying thousands of couples to answer this question, and his findings have revolutionized how we understand and strengthen intimate relationships.
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work distills this groundbreaking research into practical, proven strategies that any couple can use. Gottman discovered that successful relationships aren't about avoiding conflict—they're about how you handle it, how you build friendship, and how you create shared meaning together.
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This book will teach you:
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How to resolve conflicts without damaging your connection
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The specific behaviors that predict divorce (and how to avoid them)
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How to deepen intimacy and keep friendship alive
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Practical approaches to navigate disagreements about sex, money, family, and more
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Exercises to strengthen your emotional bond and build new common ground
Whether your relationship is thriving or struggling, this revised edition—packed with updated research and new exercises from the Gottman Institute—provides a clear roadmap for creating the harmonious, lasting partnership you both deserve. Straightforward yet profound, this is the definitive guide I recommend to nearly every couple I work with.
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Over 1 million copies sold worldwide
INTIMACY RESOURCES
(4 resources) Click on link
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✓ Resource 4.1: Intimacy Blocks Discovery
✓ Resource 4.2: Communication About Sex and Intimacy
✓ Resource 4.3: Rebuilding Physical Connection
✓ Resource 4.4: Creating Your Intimacy Vision
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RECOMMENDED RESOURCE SEQUENCES
For INTIMACY Coaching Clients:
Weeks 1-2:
Weeks 3-4:
Weeks 5-10:
Weeks 11-12:
Ongoing:
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Monthly intimacy check-ins
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Live your vision
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Continue communication practices
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Maintain connection
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Content Breakdown:
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~90 pages
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10 assessments
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30 worksheets
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13 scripts
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10 exercises
Intimacy Books.
Why We Recommend These Books
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Intimacy challenges often stem from misunderstanding, shame, or unhealed wounds—and these books offer the compassionate, science-based guidance to address all three. Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski is essential reading for understanding how desire actually works (spoiler: it's not what most people think), and it's particularly powerful for women who've struggled with feeling "broken" or "different." When affairs or betrayal have damaged trust, The State of Affairs by Esther Perel provides a nuanced, healing framework for understanding what happened and deciding how to move forward—whether together or apart. Passionate Marriage by David Schnarch shows how true intimacy requires differentiation and personal growth, not just connection. These books have guided countless clients toward greater sexual confidence, emotional healing, and the kind of intimacy that deepens rather than fades over time.
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Intimacy Books.
Why We Recommend These Books
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When you're navigating the dating world, understanding yourself is just as important as finding the right person. That's why I recommend starting with Attached by Levine and Heller—it's the foundation for recognizing your attachment patterns and understanding what you truly need in a relationship. Once you understand your "love wiring," How to Not Die Alone by Logan Ury offers practical, science-backed strategies to break unhelpful dating patterns and make better choices about who you date and when to commit. And for those of you approaching or navigating engagement, The Conscious Bride by Sheryl Paul addresses the complex emotions that arise during this transition—feelings that are completely normal but rarely discussed. Together, these books provide the self-awareness, practical tools, and emotional support you need to build the lasting love you deserve.
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Come As You Are: Revised and Updated: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life
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by Emily Nagoski, PhD
If you've ever felt "broken" or "different" when it comes to sex and desire, this book will change everything. Dr. Emily Nagoski's groundbreaking work reveals a liberating truth: the most important factor in a confident, joyful sex life isn't what your body looks like or how it's "supposed" to work—it's how you feel about it.
For decades, women's sexuality was barely studied or understood. Come As You Are fills that gap with accessible, science-based insights that explain why things like stress, mood, trust, and body image aren't just minor factors in sexual wellbeing—they're central to it. Nagoski dismantles harmful myths (like the idea that desire should be "spontaneous") and replaces them with accurate, empowering information about how women's sexuality actually works.
You'll discover:
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Why your desire patterns are normal, even if they don't match what you see in movies
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How stress and context dramatically impact arousal (and what to do about it)
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The science behind pleasure and how to experience more of it
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Why you are already sexually whole, exactly as you are
This revised edition includes updated research on mindfulness, desire, and pleasure. Compassionate, funny, and deeply validating, Come As You Are has helped countless women (and their partners) create the sex lives they truly want.
New York Times Bestseller
Self-Care Books
Why We Recommend These Books
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You cannot pour from an empty cup, and healthy relationships require healthy individuals. The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown is transformative for learning to embrace your authentic self and release the shame and perfectionism that sabotage connection. Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab provides the practical framework for protecting your energy and communicating your needs—skills that are essential both in relationships and in life. And Burnout by the Nagoski sisters offers crucial insights into managing stress and completing the stress cycle, particularly for women who are exhausted from trying to meet impossible expectations. I recommend these books to nearly every client because self-compassion, boundaries, and stress management aren't just nice-to-haves—they're the foundation for showing up as your best self in your relationships and your life.
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The Gifts of Imperfection: 10th Anniversary Edition
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by Brené Brown, PhD
What if the secret to a fulfilling life—and fulfilling relationships—isn't perfection, but embracing your imperfections? Brené Brown's groundbreaking book has sparked a global movement with a simple but revolutionary message: you are worthy of love and belonging exactly as you are.
For over a decade, this #1 New York Times bestseller has helped millions of people let go of who they think they're "supposed" to be and embrace who they actually are. Brown combines rigorous research with warmth and humor, offering ten guideposts to wholehearted living that address the shame, fear, and self-doubt that keep us from showing up authentically in our lives and relationships.
You'll learn to:
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Cultivate self-compassion and let go of perfectionism
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Set boundaries and ask for what you need
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Embrace vulnerability as a source of strength, not weakness
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Release the exhausting need to please everyone
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Practice gratitude, creativity, and joy—even in difficult times
This 10th anniversary edition includes new tools and a fresh foreword to help you make this work your own. As Brené writes, "Choosing authenticity and worthiness is an absolute act of resistance." If you're tired of performing, hiding, or shrinking yourself to fit in, this book will give you permission to live wholeheartedly—and that changes everything, especially in your relationships.
Over 2 million copies sold in 35 languages
RESOURCES
By Relationship Stage
SINGLE/DATING:
NEW RELATIONSHIP:
ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP:
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All Couples Coaching Resources
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All Intimacy Coaching Resources
REBUILDING AFTER CHALLENGE:
RESOURCES
By Primary Challenge
COMMUNICATION ISSUES:
EMOTIONAL DISCONNECTION:
PHYSICAL/SEXUAL INTIMACY CHALLENGES:
BOUNDARY ISSUES:
PATTERN RECOGNITION:
CRISIS/OVERWHELM:
LIFE TRANSITIONS: