You Have Questions. Here Are Real Answers.

For Getting Started Questions Please See Below.

If you're reading this page, something probably already brought you here. Maybe it's a fight you keep having. Maybe it's a silence that's been stretching too long. Maybe you've just been feeling like roommates instead of partners. Coaching works best when you're willing to look at your own role in what's happening — not just your partner's. I'm not here to tell you who's right. I'm here to help you both understand what's actually driving the dynamic, and change it. If you're in active crisis — a recent affair, a mental health emergency, domestic violence — therapy is the right first step, and I'll tell you that clearly. But if you're stuck, disconnected, or repeating the same argument in 10 different forms, this is exactly what coaching is designed for.

No. That's actually one of the most common ways this starts. One partner finds this page. The other agrees to try — reluctantly, skeptically, or just because it felt easier than saying no. That's fine. I've worked with plenty of people who walked in convinced this wouldn't work and left having said things they hadn't said in years. What I need isn't enthusiasm. I need both people willing to show up and be honest. That's enough to start. The willingness tends to grow on its own once things begin to shift.

I'm probably the right fit if you want someone who's going to be honest with you. I don't do a lot of hand-holding for its own sake. I care deeply about the people I work with, and part of that care looks like telling you the truth — even when it's uncomfortable. After 20+ years doing this work, I've seen most patterns before. My style is direct, warm, and structured — I'm not going to let you vent for 50 minutes without moving anything forward. The best way to know if we're a match is to get on a call. Free consultation, 30 minutes, no pressure. You'll know quickly whether this feels right. →  Schedule your complimentary consultation

Here's the clearest way I can put it: therapy is clinically licensed, often focused on diagnosing and treating mental health conditions, and typically covered by insurance. Coaching is not therapy, is not covered by insurance, and is not a clinical service. What coaching is — particularly the work we do here — is structured, evidence-informed relational work. I use frameworks from Relational Life Therapy, attachment theory, Gottman research, and Emotionally Focused Therapy to help you understand what's happening in your relationship and shift it. My colleague and partner Rebekah Yigael is a licensed therapist. When someone needs clinical support, I don't try to be their therapist — I refer them to Rebekah or to another licensed professional. That handoff is seamless and collaborative. If you're unsure which is right for you, just ask me. I'll give you a straight answer.

For couples coaching, yes — both of you need to be in the room. That's not a logistical preference; it's central to how this work functions. The dynamic we're trying to shift lives between you, not just inside one of you. If only one person shows up, we're working on half the equation. That said, I do work with individuals who are in relationships. Sometimes one partner isn't ready yet, or you want to do some personal preparation work before bringing your partner in. Individual sessions can absolutely be a starting point. For dating coaching, sessions are individual by nature — it's one-on-one work focused on your patterns, your readiness, and what you bring into relationships.

Fair question — especially if you've done therapy before and didn't feel like it moved the needle. Here's what I can tell you: most approaches focus on communication skills. How to listen better. How to fight cleaner. Those skills matter. But if the underlying patterns driving the conflict haven't changed, the skills eventually give out. The approach I use goes one layer deeper. It works with the adaptive patterns you developed early in life — the ways you learned to survive emotionally — and helps you recognize when those patterns are running your relationship rather than your adult, intentional self. Does it work for everyone? No. If someone isn't willing to be honest about their own behavior, it won't work. But for people who are — yes, it produces real, lasting change.

Most couples notice something shifting within the first 3–4 sessions — not a complete transformation, but a change in how they're seeing each other. A moment where one person responds differently instead of firing back. A conversation that ends differently than it usually does. Deeper, durable change — the kind where the old patterns stop getting triggered as easily — takes longer. The Connection Reset is 12 weeks for a reason: that's the time it takes to understand the pattern, interrupt it consistently, and build new habits that hold under stress. I'll give you an honest read on timeline in the consultation based on what you share. I'm not in the business of keeping people in coaching longer than they need.

For About the Approach Questions Please See Below.

The primary framework behind every couples session is Relational Life Therapy — developed by therapist and author Terry Real. I completed training under Terry Real directly. I use it because it's the most honest, direct approach I've found. It doesn't spend a lot of time on history for history's sake. It's focused on what's happening now, what each partner is doing that's contributing to the disconnection, and how to change it. The central insight of RLT: most of us learned how to relate to others under conditions that weren't ideal. We developed survival strategies — shutting down, pursuing, controlling — that worked in childhood but quietly destroy adult relationships. RLT helps you see those strategies in action and teaches you to respond from a more grounded, intentional place instead. I also draw on the Gottman Method, Emotionally Focused Therapy, attachment theory, and other evidence-based approaches depending on what a client's situation calls for. No method gets applied robotically.

It's a term for the part of you that learned to cope with emotional pain early in life. When you felt abandoned, overlooked, or overwhelmed as a kid, you developed a strategy to manage that — maybe you got louder and more demanding to make sure you weren't ignored. Maybe you went quiet and stopped needing things to avoid conflict. Neither strategy is wrong. They were smart responses to real situations. The issue is that most of us carry those strategies into adulthood without updating them. So when your partner pulls away, your old "demand and pursue" response fires — even if the situation doesn't warrant it. When your partner escalates, your old "go silent and survive" response kicks in — even if what your partner actually needs is connection, not distance. That pursuer-distancer cycle is one of the most common patterns I see in couples. One person reaches harder; the other retreats further. Both people feel alone. Neither person intended this. Recognizing that pattern — and seeing your own part in it — is usually the first real turning point.

Direct I don't wait eight sessions for someone to arrive at an insight on their own if I can see what's happening and help them name it now. Faster and more useful than spending months circling. Not neutral facilitation I care about the health of your relationship and I'm going to say things that challenge both of you — not to take sides, but to interrupt the cycle you're caught in. Both of you, in the room I can see the dynamic live. I'm not hearing one person's account and working from that. I'm watching how you two interact and working directly with what I observe. Coaching and clinical support under one roof If clinical support becomes relevant at any point, that pathway is already built — Rebekah Yigael (LCSW) is part of the practice.

Yes, fully and without reservation. I work with couples across the full spectrum of identities, orientations, and relationship structures — including same-sex couples, non-monogamous partnerships, and couples navigating cultural or religious complexity. The relational dynamics I work with — attachment, disconnection, the pursuer-distancer cycle, intimacy and trust — don't belong to one type of relationship. They show up everywhere. What I care about is the relationship's health. Who you are and how your partnership is structured is your business. My job is to help you build something that actually works for both of you.

For What to Expect Questions Please See Below.

The first session is mostly about understanding — mine, not yours. I want to know the shape of your relationship: how you met, what the high points have been, where things shifted, and what's been happening recently. I also want to get a sense of how you communicate with each other in real time, so I'll be watching how you interact as much as I'm listening to what you say. By the end of the first session, I'll share what I'm observing — including what patterns I think are driving the conflict — and we'll talk about what a realistic path forward looks like. You won't leave without clarity on what the work is. For individual coaching (dating or personal relationship work), the first session is focused on your history, your patterns, and what you're trying to build. Same goal: clarity.

Couples sessions are 80 minutes. That's intentional — 50 minutes isn't enough time to get into something meaningful and come back out of it productively. Individual coaching sessions are 50 minutes. How many you'll need depends on the work. The Connection Reset (12 weeks) and other structured programs have a defined container. For ongoing individual sessions, we'll assess together as we go. I'll give you an honest read on timeline in the consultation. I'm not in the business of keeping people in coaching longer than they need.

Then I want to know what happened and why — because "therapy didn't work" can mean a lot of different things. Sometimes it means the approach wasn't a match for the problem. Some therapeutic models are slower-moving or less directive, which works well for certain kinds of growth but can feel frustrating for couples who need things to shift quickly. Sometimes it means one partner wasn't fully invested, and the work couldn't go where it needed to go. Sometimes it means the right things were happening in the room but didn't translate to change at home. I'll ask about your experience directly, and I'll be honest with you about whether I think coaching is likely to produce a different outcome — or whether there's a reason to consider a different path first.

Yes. This is actually some of my favorite work. The couples who come in when things are 'just stuck' — before it reaches a breaking point — tend to make the most meaningful progress. There's still goodwill in the room. There's still a reason both of you are showing up. Waiting until things are in crisis is a pattern I see a lot, and it usually means we're starting further back. If you've got a recurring pattern, some distance you can't seem to close, or a sense that you're not quite meeting each other anymore — that's exactly the right time.

LOGISTICS AND PRACTICALITIES LOGISTICS

Yes. Virtual sessions work just as well for most of what we do. Some people prefer in-person because the physical presence adds something, but virtual is fully effective and available from anywhere. I'm based in Houston, TX. All virtual sessions use a secure, HIPAA-compliant platform.

Couples sessions (80 min): $275 per session Individual sessions (50 min): $175 per session Coaching is not a clinical service and is not covered by insurance. I don't accept insurance, and I don't submit superbills. If cost is a concern, let's talk during the consultation. Sometimes a shorter-term engagement or a specific program structure makes more sense financially, and I'd rather find the right fit than lose you to a fee that isn't working.

Yes. Everything discussed in coaching sessions is confidential. There are standard exceptions — if I have reason to believe you or someone else is in immediate danger, I'm required to act on that. But outside of that, what you share stays between us. For couples, both partners should know going in: I don't take private calls or sidebar messages from one partner and keep them hidden from the other unless requested. If something comes up that one person shares with me outside of a session, I'll ask that it be brought into the room. That's not a rule I created arbitrarily — it's how the work stays honest.

Sessions cancelled with less than 24 hours' notice are charged at the full session rate. Life happens and I understand that — but that window is what allows me to offer the time to someone else who needs it. If you need to reschedule, reach out as early as possible. I'll do my best.